Lori and I went to the Renaissance Festival here on Saturday.  We had been told it was one of those things that you just had to check out if you’ve never been to one before, especially if you are into people watching.  Well, we consider ourselves “professional” people watchers, so we hopped in the car and drove down to see the sights.  I’m pretty glad I did. 

The whole thing is set up like a mock town in the middle ages.  The storefronts and food places, etc, are all real buildings that sit way at the back of this large field, nestled in some trees.  Participants, employees, children, pets and the like are all dressed up in their Renaissance-y gear.  People mill about drinking wine, beer, munching on Turkey Legs, while all around them there are street shows, fire eaters, “beggars”, and vendors selling anything from trinkets to $3200 diamond rings.

I won’t bore with all the details of day, but I will share a few things I learned:

1) Wine wenches certainly know how to pour a glass here.  I have never chugged wine before, but I learned to that day.  You see, if there is less than a half-glass of wine left in the bottle, and they have just filled you up, they will make you drink until that half pour fits in your glass.  Not that I was complaining, mind you.  

2) Watching a game of giant chess is more entertaining than I would have expected.

3) Debauchery is always fun.  On the very first turn, I met up with two men making out with a, um, shall we say ‘busty’ lady.  In between make-out sessions, they were drinking beer, and all involved were clearly intoxicated.  Oh, and it was like 11AM.

4) Puke and Snot are a pretty funny duo.  That one really isn’t explainable unless you’ve been there.

5) One of the oldest forms of entertainment, Riddling, still draws a crowd.  What has trees but no birds, what has roads but no cars, what has cities but no people?  I’m not telling, figure it out.

All in all, it was a real trip, and I am pretty glad I went.  It was worth the drive just to see Lori get smooched by a guy with the muddy face.  After watching the giant chess match, we went next door to check out the supposed mud wrestling sideshow.  There was a huge pile of stinky mud, and these two beggars put on a show while dunking their heads in it, belly flopping in it, and throwing at each other.  Somehow Lori got singled out in the crowd by one of them and was forced to kiss him.  She fought it at first, but he wasn’t giving in.  I helped by getting a shot right before he gave her a face full of mud:

Lori makes out with Spartan Man

Lori makes out with Spartan Man

 

She was a really good sport about it all, even if she did smell pretty bad on the ride home.  Click the picture to see it full size!